Who am I really?

How awkward am I? I got picked on, bullied, looked down upon throughout my childhood. It wasn’t my fault. I blame that man who stole my dearest mother from me. I was traumatized! That monster took away my childhood and I was left with my grandmother, who wasn’t that great of a substitute. I wanted my mother as a child… Some days I would actually dream about killing my stepfather and saving my mother from him. How happy dreams those were… Now more mature and grown up, I’ve grown to realize that I like the quiet, and solitary life more. I would actually have the peace of mind to think. Why do you think I’ve made so many discoveries throughout my lifetime? Death threats, black mail, and its all reactions I do when someone frustrates me. I remember I was so sick that I went into a nervous break down and even spiral in and out depression. When someone sees a successful person such as myself, they assume that they are cocky and full of it. Well I’m telling you now, you are completely wrong. My insecurity can tell you many stories opposing that assumption.
Ahh, I remember that I’ve made a list of sins I’ve committed. As I reread through the list, I find that I create many violent thoughts. Quite funny, some of the sins are worth mentioning to depict my anger towards some people.. “Threatning my father and mother Smith to burne them and the house over them,” “Wishing death and hoping it to some,” and “Denying a crossbow to my mother and grandmother though I knew of it.”
Some think that a child is innocent. I think people will think differently when actually peering into the child’s thoughts.